She Will Be Alright..

I plonked myself on the bean bag beside her bed.  I handed her another tissue and stroke her hair away from her face.  She is cowering under the pink and green quilt covers I bought her; with the design of a surfer girl and an array of hibiscus flowers in the edgings.   I did not see it coming, they were so sweet and so beautiful together, her petite and exotic looks (thanks to the mum; yours truly J ) and him with his fair dinkum aussie good looks.  The week before we picked him up and we all went to the picnic by the lake for somebody’s 18 b-day celebrations.  Then just a few days before this happened, we watched him deliver his Shakespeare drama play at the school theatre.   And checking her mobile phone there were sweet lovey-dovey text messages just 2 days before.

So, I was puzzled and helpless my sweet adorable daughter heartbroken.  No wonder she was quiet and did not eat her dinner and just locked herself in her room.

I knew something was wrong. I tried to talk to her to make her feel better but between sobs; she said she doesn’t like anybody else, but they both decided things are not working well and it is best if they go back to just being friends.  I know there’s more to it.  I ended up recounting to her my heartbreaks, my loves, my conquests, I told her they didn’t conquer me; I conquered them when I got older and wiser; as a joke and she smiled.  Then I explained nothing is permanent; and she better not cry too much over him as she will have the worst eye bags at school tomorrow and it will ruin her beauty; and it made her laugh.

Then I persuaded her to get up, so we can have a cup of hot chocolate and choc-chip cookies.  Mind you this is half past midnight.  Looking back I did not get the same support from my mum.  She just told me to get over it and that there’s plenty of fishes in the sea.

Then she asked if she could sleep with me in my bed and I said of course.  We talked a bit more about boys, me injecting humour and a bit of my experiences. Then she decided she doesn’t wanna talk anymore but she’s still not sleepy and wanted to read.  So, I let her and I grabbed the laptop and checked who’s on
 YM and caught up with some friends online.

Experience taught me how to handle my heartstrings and have reinforced it, so it has been pulled a bit and I went with the flow but it did not snap, kinda elasticised and I snapped out of it.   In this game of life, if I don’t know what’s in it for me and if I’m not confident what’s going on I usually slam on the brakes hard.  And I learnt to be kind and mindful with my heart and everybody else’s around me.

Then I looked beside me she’s fallen asleep, so serene, so innocent and saw how much she looked like me at that tender age.  Although I have plenty of room for love, my girly girls occupy the most of it in my life.  That night my heartstrings were pulled to the max;  my daughter, my memories of past loves and the ones I can’t tell you.   But, she will be alright she’s got me. Me, I have tumbled but got up and brushed my singed knee.   We somehow have to learn to handle the tugs and pulls of our heartstrings.

The Season To Be Jolly!

Growing up with six brothers was such chaos.  One X’mas morning when I was 9 years old, all of us were dressed in our fineries ready to attend the Christmas mass.  My mum asked me to look after the baby crawling on the floor while she get ready herself.  

There I was crawling along with the baby in my best dress. While the boys wrestled and was getting restless; when all of a sudden my 3^rd bro decided to do a handstand and a flip over but landed heavily on my head. I hit my face hard on the floorboard and I lost a front-tooth and there I was hysterical ‘cause what a disaster! Losing a tooth on Christmas day.  And the boys were just laughing hard and started singing “All she want for Christmas is her front-tooth.”  I could not get go to church I was all distressed and sweaty from crying and my eyes were very puffy and my face started to swell and have my dress got dirty.  

I locked myself in the bedroom clutching my doll and they all went to attend the mass without me.  I cried myself to sleep.  I was tired from our NOCHE BUENA anyway.  I woke up when they all came back and the boys were still teasing me, how I will be an old maid ‘cause I would not be able to get a boyfriend with a tooth missing.  Dad came to console me while Mum just said “Get over it girl.”  Years later when we get together for Christmas; the boys always reminisce that particular Christmas and always teased me about it.  Oh how I miss them.

Fast-forward Christmas 2007, hubby has to go to work so we got up at 3:00 am with him to open our presents.  The girls and me were invited to a friends place for lunch so we went and end up staying for dinner and hubby came after work.  There we were after a few drinks, having a go at karaoke. At first the girls were cheering me “Go mum go!” but soon I was grabbing the microphone and belting a song and dancing at the same time.

It was a case of role reversal the adults were misbehaving while the teen-agers were giving us dirty looks. We had so much fun.  
We suffered from a bit of hangover the next day though.  My friend and I decided life is too short. We should not wait for any occasion to get together and be merry, we should do it more often.

Knitworking Vs. Networking

There were times when my kids were little, they will be asleep and hubby’s at work I didn’t know what to do with myself.  The soapies were getting tedious, lost interest in the repetitive wash, hang, iron, fold routine too.  I thought of talking to the wall but it won’t answer back. I decided to refresh my knowledge of crochet and knitting. I was hooked for the first few designs. In between dashing to answer squeals of ‘MUM I want some juicy MUM”, “ I can’t sleep mum I think there’s a drawf lookin at me in the corna”

My daughter at 2 can’t pronounce dwarf. So, I have to talk to the drawf to go away as my little CINDY wants to go nyt nyt and then back to the knit and purl thingy.  It was an orgasmic feeling when I admire my finished project.  A piece of art to me and l proudly show hubby when he walked through the door. Which he said dryly “You did well dear, very clever of you.“ He knew I just needed to be appreciated, have sense of accomplishment and self-worth. I was losing my identity I became a boring woman who just cooks, cleans, knit and look after the kids and the house. After I accomplished a few doilies, blanket and a couch throwover; which I was very proud of by the way I lost interest again.

You can only go so much on knit, purl, treble, double treble, slip stitch.  I throw my hands in the air and said enough is enough I’m going back to the workforce.  And I feel sucessful, motherhood, workforce combined.  Not to mention a bit of financial independence and be out there in the rat-race again.  Although, hubby honestly thought I only went back to work for a rest.

Then on my days off I dabbled in pottery, scrap booking, folk art, sewing and witchcraft.  Just joking on the witchcraft bit.  Then my good friend phoned me one day and said “You should open an account in a social networking site, it's fun."  I’m not a wiz but I know my way around internet and consider myself savvy enough. Needless to say I swapped the crochet hook for the mouse.  My designs and layouts now includes imikimi, photo bucket.com and glitter- graphics.  One has to keep up with times you know. Hubby get frustrated sometimes and said ”Why don’t you just go back to knitting?”  I replied “Don’t be a nit- wit dear.”

Where's the Key

Everything that is locked needs a key; the door, the cupboard, the suitcase, the car, the software I downloaded needs the key numbers too.

This little mechanism caused so much anxiety to my three little ones one day. It was yet a very hot summer’s day and I decided to take my little ones to the beach, my two girly girls and the baby of the family our Staffordshire-terrier puppy XENA. So the littles were already settled in the car; when the phone rang and I decided to backtrack to answer it as it could be hubby with his very important phone call.   Like “can you record the footy for me at 8:00 pm at channel nine “ or his “I’ll be home for dinner what are you cooking?”

It was one of my friends actually.   So, in between trying to make a phone conversation to trying to “shhhhh”….the little ones;  my kids make a racket of “mum common, hurry up, you always talking”…it sets off the puppy too and we were very noisy.  In the end; I told my friend I’ll call her back when we get back from the beach.

As I slammed the door adjoining the main house and the garage, I was missing my shoulder bag.  I realized I took it with me when I answered the phone and put it down in the sofa.

So, there I was with three panicky little ones…going round and round around the house to look for an open window where I can clamber back inside to retrieve my bag with the car keys in it.   What a sight we would have been, in single pile …a parade, me the leader followed by 2 kids and a puppy.  Following me with a whinge “what we gonna do mum?”  ‘Why you not thinking mum?” followed by a yelp then followed by a melodramatic “we all gonna die with the heat”.   It was 36 degrees…it gets very, very hot in AUSTRALIA sometimes.

I gave up the idea of an opened window after we circled the house.  I knew I really secured it from the inside.   So, I distracted the littlies with the treats that were luckily already in the car; while I composed and gathered myself how to solve the predicament I have put my little dependants into.  They are now getting very restless,  are hot and want to go back to the comfort inside the house where there is air-conditioning .

I thought of ringing the locksmith but I know will cost me at least $30.00; then I have to hassle the neighbours for phone usage.  I was determined to solve the problem on my own.  It’s my independent or my stubborn streak or maybe my pride kicking in again.  Then I remember the man-hole in the garage.   So, I tried to climb on top of my car but too far from the man-hole.   Then, I dragged the barbecue table and put a chair on top of it and I managed to climb up the ceiling.  But then have to go back down to pacify the scared kids who said “don’t go up there mummy, the monster might get you”.  I assured them there’s no monster up there, as it’s too hot.  Hot, it was! sweltering; me crawling up the ceiling and was getting singed knees and sweating profusely; it was like a sauna up there, trying to figure out where’s the other hole that leads to the main house.  I found it and jumped down victoriously from the ceiling spraining my ankle a bit; and opened the door to the delight and clapping of little hands .  I was a hero to the littlies that day.  They could not stop telling their daddy how brave mummy was.

Then the key drama happened again 4 weeks ago in my hotel.  I was off for my breakfast and decided to just lock my bag in the suitcase as it will secure my valuables, but forgot the key to the suitcase; was in my shoulder bag.  So, there I was again with a key problem, the  concierge and the guy from their engineering department with all sizes of pliers trying to prise the lock of my suitcase…and me in the background pleading ‘please, be careful not to ruin the suitcase it’s brand new’.