“It’s booked” she said, even before I can put my work bag down. Normally it’s “What’s for dinner mom?” “What’s booked? “ I asked. “You know that trip to Melbourne we were talking about “she retorted. “You should have told me first. I’m not sure if I can have time off on those dates.” I shot back. “Just go tell your boss tomorrow, as easy as that.” Ms Smarty pants no. 2 replied back. (Don’t you just love the confidence of these teens nowadays.) “We thought you’d be excited about it, it’s all paid for” Ms Smartypants no. 1 joined in. Luckily, the next day the boss was okay about it and has to hastily rearrange the staffing for that weekend. When I told them, I got a chorus of “See, we told you just go tell your boss.” The trip was an early treat for me for Mother’s Day.
I sat down to check my FACEBOOK before I cooked dinner, and my mind wanders to when I was young, no worries and didn’t have others look after and even swore I will never have children. I only worried when is the next merriment, what’s the latest fashion but don’t get me wrong, I was wise about it and was diligent with my studies. Then I met somebody who wanted to make music with me, a collaborator and we produced these two hits of smartypants at once. These hits were hard work to sustain, though were very easy to make. My collaborator was good at making the notes and I was good at composing the lyrics.
Time does fly very fast, chipped my fingernails and contemplating of when to have a manicure. I remember the carpal tunnel syndrome, towards the end of my pregnancy. I woke up with no sense in my arms and hands I can’t even turn the door-knob. Panicked my collaborator rushed me to the doctor. It was nothing to worry about and it should go away after the big release. The babies were judt pressing my nerves. The joys of motherhood.
When the big release arrived it was sleepless nights, nappies, bottles, (the baby formula kind), nursery rhymes lots of Disney books and movies later on. I have to go back to work to help keep up with the mortgage repayments and for all of the items I listed above. It did us all good, I was independent again, my kids were not too clingy anymore, and we won’t lose the house after all. Luckily all my work clothes and suits, (we didn’t have uniform) still fit after I have my twins. I didn’t have to buy new ones and can save money. The child care fees, nappies, formulas do take a chunk of my wages. No more lie-ins, it’s up and down in the hallway at night. I was so much in debit with my sleep. I find a corner in the train on my way to work and I caught up with some sleep that way. One time I was fumbling with my purse in the queue for coffee, all looking and feeling confident (I enjoyed the balance, 3 days at work and 2 off to catch up with the housework and kids) a dummy fell out and when I bend down to rummage for it the guy in the suit behind me grinned and handed it to me. I was so embarrassed. When you commute you do recognize the other commuters. I mumbled thank you and sorry. He said “No worries, you just had a baby?” I answered “Yes, 2 in fact.” “Twins? Really? That’s why I haven’t seen you in the trains for a while. You good.” He said. I blushingly replied, “Thank you and have a nice day.” Sipping my cappuccino, I said to myself, so that's where the dummy was. There was chaos the previous night, we couldn't find twin 1's dummy, she already lost a few at the shops and I didn't realize there's no more spares. I must wean her off it, I thought to myself.
Fast forward I was dropping my girls at the High School and in the drop off they always have their friends there loitering. That afternoon they said their friends said they have a cool mom. Hmmmm let’s leave it at that. They just laugh it off.
This Mother's Day I missed my mom so much. She is a strong, resilient woman and have helped me form a good head above my shoulders. She taught me Love, mulititasking and prioritizing. Above all she gave me and taught me Life. I have to see her soon.
Motherhood is the best thing that happened to me. I have learnt to manage time and de-clutter some areas in my Life. I have found a purpose, not just wandering through it all aimlessly. I have learnt to discard my selfish ways. I have learnt to look after and nurture precious Lives. I have learnt to attend to what’s more important. If I’m allowed to say so without sounding vain, motherhood helped me fully develop physically, emotionally and mentally. Motherhood is my greatest achievement so far. With the blessings of our almighty I hope I am doing things right and will continue to do so. I know God knows I'm not perfect I'm only a human and a woman at that, after all. All I know is "LOVE IS ALL THERE IS" and I love my girls to bits. Crossing my fingers for the many more years to come of motherhood. At least I don't have to worries about dummies anymore.
